“What,” you ask, “is a Car Guy Car?” Well, dear readers, a Car Guy Car (“CGC”) is the “perfect” car to demonstrate one’s love of automobiles. It is the unicorn of automobiles – the low production number, manual transmission, old-but-not-too-old, perfect service history, cool-but-not-too-flashy car of your dreams. If you already have one, then you have no doubt embarked on an Ahabian journey to find your elusive CGC. That or your dad gave you his old car, and your dad happens to be a hedge fund manager with a penchant for fine automobiles. But if you are thinking about acquiring a CGC, take heed, there is no turning back. Here’s why.
Ah, the rite of passage. Like a gentleman’s first single malt whiskey or first graduate degree, there are certain moments that mark one’s arrival at the next chapter of life. And, if you have one of these three vehicles, then “Mazel tav!” – you’re having a baby.
“Wait a minute,” you say, “I don’t have a baby.” You may not have one yet, but the primordial, procreative portion of your psyche knows better. It is, after all, why you just spent a fortune on a the automotive equivalent of Erdinger. I mean, sure it’s German, it tastes the part, but wouldn’t you rather have a Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier? Here’s why you couldn’t help yourself.
For the skeptics among us, a collection a of recent urban cowboy sightings. Thanks to the readers who sent these in.
I know it's easy to pick on BMW drivers. But honestly. You can't make this stuff up.
iconoclast (noun): a person who criticizes or opposes beliefs and practices that are widely accepted
The world needs iconoclasts—those individuals who are willing to think outside the box and challenge convention. Galileo, the Wright brothers, and Steve Jobs all come to mind. But let us take care not to confuse iconoclasm with idiocy. Case in point, rolling coal. Which, as you are about to discover, is one of the dumbest phenomena in the history of motoring.
“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” – Oscar Wilde