As some of you may know, dear readers, different states have different requirements for license plates.  Perhaps the most obvious difference is that some states require two license plates (one in the front and one in the back) while others only require one (in the back).  This of course has a physical effect on vehicles because dealerships in states requiring two plates will often drill holes into the front fascia of your vehicle to install said license plate.  Bummer.  Some of you may be saying, “What’s the big deal?  So I have two plates on my car.  Everyone does.”  That is true while you are living in a two-plate state.  But what happens when you move to a one-plate state?  You can either (1) remove the plastic plate holder the dealer installed, leaving holes in the front fascia of your car or (2) drive around with a blank, plastic canvas on the front of your car.  Let’s face it—neither one is a great option.

Enter the decorative license plate.  One can acquire these plates to fill the empty space where your front plate used to be.  But should you treat your empty front license plate holder as a forum for personal expression?  If you do, please be cautious, my friends.  Your plate of choice may say something about you that you did not intend to convey.  So let us examine a few categories of decorative plates to see just how slippery this slope gets.

They say cleanliness is next to Godliness.  But, for a gentleman motorist, cleanliness is de rigueur.  Accordingly, a gentleman motorist will keep a small microfiber cleaning cloth in his glove box, arm rest, or center console.[1]

What is a microfiber cleaning cloth?  Well, dear reader, a microfiber cleaning cloth is a small square cloth comprised of synthetic fiber finer than 1/100th the diameter or a human hair.[2]  One often finds such cloths accompanying a pair of glasses.  A set of six can be had for less than $9.00 on the internet.

Why should I keep one in my car?  Most automobiles will have shiny bits[3] that invite you touch them.  And when (like a moth to the flame) you do, you will invariably leave finger prints and smudges over said shiny bits.  Microfiber cleaning cloth is particularly adept at removing oil from surfaces without smearing and will thus remove these blemishes and leave your car looking show-room clean.  Microfiber cleaning clothes also remove dust from center consoles, dash boards, instrument panels, navigation screens, etc… without scratching the surface.  Additionally, the microfiber cleaning cloth will clean up a pair of sunglasses.  And so the microfiber cleaning cloth also enhances safety

Isn’t this overkill?  No, it is not.  Moreover, detailers and car washes cannot be trusted to properly clean your dash and navigation screens.  And if they scratch these surfaces, the manufacturer may have to replace the entire unit, not just the screens.  So save yourself the emotional and financial pain by simply using the microfiber cleaning cloth.  You’ll be glad you did.
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[1] Or anywhere out of the sight of his passenger.  Should one’s passenger see the Microfiber Cleaning Cloth, one will be accused of being obsessive compulsive.  Accept the gibe with grace and aplomb.  To do otherwise will merely add fuel to the fire.

[2] The Gentleman Motorist is not a scientist and has relied on Wikipedia for certain “factual information.

[3] Carbon fiber inlays, brushed metal, and polished wood are particularly laborious surfaces to keep smudge free.  The microfiber cleaning cloth works swiftly and with minimal effort.

Well said, Jake.  This particular shoe is both simple and effective.  And while many shoes are sold as driving loafers, a gentleman motorist knows that one key feature separates George from James Francis Edwards[1] [alt. - Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou from Andrew Ridgeley[2]] – a wrapped rubber outsole.  For the loafer naïfs, that means that the sole of the shoe extends upwards along the back of the heel.  Anyone who has worn standard suede loafers when driving will immediately grasp the concept when they notice that the leather on the heel of their right shoe has worn[3] while the heel of the left still looks like new.

In addition to protecting the shoe itself, the driving loafer will bring you into the fold of the cognoscenti.  Indeed, with a proper pair of driving loafers, one may be identified as a gentleman motorist with nary an automobile in sight.  The Gentleman Motorist is partial to the Prada Logo Driver, but he also admires Tod’s Gommino Driving Shoes in suede.  But don’t be intimidated, dear readers, Steve Madden and Clarks both offer respectable driving loafers for less than $100.

Suffice it to say, driving shoes are a must for gentlemen (and perhaps lady) motorists.  After all, they are feet tires.
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[1] The Gentleman Motorist does not endorse theological discrimination or persecution.  Or, come to think of it, hereditary monarchies.  But history is written by the victors, chaps.

[2] The other guy from Wham!.

[3] This example is based on drivers of automobiles with automatic transmissions.  If your automobile has three pedals, both heels will be worn.