As the Gentleman Motorist recently explained, Audi has not brought the RS4 Avant to the United States. And now, sadly, Mercedes-Benz is bogarting the beautiful C63 AMG Estate. Accordingly, the Gentleman Motorist has gone full Howard Beale. Honestly, Germany—puff, puff, pass! But my exhortations continue to fall on deaf ears. So read on in shared outrage as yet another motoring masterpiece fails to reach American shores.
In broad strokes, reverse psychology is a technique involving the advocacy of one thing when the opposite is desired. One can only assume that Audi is trying its hand at this psychological parlor trick by denying Americans the right to acquire its RS4 Avant. Well, guess what…it worked. The Gentleman Motorist wants one. Now shut up and take my money.
“The Ultimate Grand Tourer” may be the ultimate gentleman motorist’s sports car. And while there are now more contenders for the crown (with more performance and more technology), there is something timeless about the Aston Martin Vanquish. That's because Aston Martin has not tinkered with the Vanquish formula since it debuted in 2001. The perfectionists at Porsche would agree - don't mess with a good thing. Aston Martin’s time tested approach to this exercise in refinement is to put a V-12 (this time with 565 brake horse power and 457 pound feet of torque) in a tuxedo. Like James Bond, the Vanquish is a sophisticated exercise in controlled violence—a killing machine with an Eton College education, a bruiser with manners and panache, a fist fight concluding with a hand shake and a round of drinks.
So it packs a big punch. But the little things also set the Vanquish apart. From the simple, sporty wheels to the the luxurious, leather cabin, this Aston vanquishes the competition while its driver never breaks a sweat.
On second thought...the Vanquish's price tag, which is just north of $300,000, may produce a few beads of perspiration. But if the Gentleman Motorist could only have two cars in his garage, he would be most satisfied with a Vanquish and a Range Rover. One imagines the Queen would approve as well.
 It is too soon to tell, but the new Mercedes S63 AMG Coupe and the Mercedes AMG GT may give the Vanquish a run for its money.
 That said, the Porsche 911 feels like it was made by a bunch of serious scientists while the Aston Martin Vanquish feels like it was made by a masterful mixologist. In other words, the Vanquish is as much art as it is science. And your soul knows the difference.
 Do not confuse England’s public schools with America’s public schools. They mean two entirely different things. Same goes for pants.
Photo(s) from Aston Martin.
Rick James once said, “Cocaine is a powerful drug.” Well the Lamborghini Countach is a powerful car thanks to its mid-engine longitudinally mounted V-12. And if we believe Charlie Murphy’s stories from Chappelle’s Show, one easily imagines a bunch of coked-out ’70s and ’80s celebrities driving the Countach from club to club on the Sunset Strip. But do not dismiss the Countach for its wild and crazy reputation. Why? Because it is the car that launched the automotive imaginations of just about every boy motorist born in its heyday. Just by looking at it (which is all most people get to do), one immediately knows that this is a supercar. If the Ferrari Testarossa was pretty (which is debatable), the Countach was its crazy-ass super freak rival. From its wedge nose to its massive rear spoiler, the Countach screams at you. It has the presence of fighter jet—intakes and all. For that reason, you could almost believe that a kid penned the design on the back of a math worksheet whilst day dreaming in elementary school. Which is fitting since the Countach is a dream car. In reality, it is a pain in the ass to drive. With poor visibility and permanently reclined seats, this car’s drivers must like pleasure with pain. So even if one never acquires a Countach, one should still find the opportunity to examine it up close. It’s such a freaky scene.
 One should not take a Countach home to one’s mother.
 Perhaps you have seen a Countach with hideous, massive black bumpers. Don’t hate Lamborghini for that atrocity. U.S. regulators were to blame.
 Luckily, the actual designer removed the missiles and gun turrets that surely accompanied that child’s original design.
 So your face does not hit the extremely raked windshield.
Photo(s) from Wikipedia.
The Saleen S7 is best described in one word—crazy. But in the supercar market, you are never going to survive unless you get a little crazy. And so Steve Saleen’s first effort at building an original American supercar resulted in the S7. A car that (in its most potent production iteration) does 0-60 in under 3 seconds and hits the quarter mile in just 10.5 seconds thanks to a 7.0 liter, twin-turbocharged Ford V-8 making 750 brake horse power and 700 pound feet of torque. Keep in mind that the S7 put down those numbers back in 2005. Which makes those stats crazy, but it feels alright because crazy is what makes the S7 awesome. As for the S7’s design—a carbon fiber body, numerous functional vents, scissor doors, large wheels, and a low profile all scream “MAD WITH POWER” louder than Putin shirtless on horseback. Even today, the S7 can destroy just about any other American production car out there. Maybe the only thing crazier than the car itself is the odd variety of films in which the S7 has appeared. Sadly, production on the S7 stopped in 2009. But the S7 is still crazy after all these years. And the Gentleman Motorist wants one pretty badly. Does that make me crazy? Possibly.
 Seal, “Crazy.”
 Britney Spears, “Crazy.”
 Probably not the Hennessey Venom GT. But the S7 predates that car by a number of years and looks better too. Not mention that the S7 has a legitimate American Le Mans Series racing pedigree that Hennessey can’t challenge.
 Bruce Almighty and Alvin and the Chipmunks—Really?!?!?!
 Paul Simon, “Still Crazy After All These Years.”
 Gnarls Barkley, “Crazy.”
Photo(s) from Wikipedia.
“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” – Oscar Wilde