In a world where specialized cars and demanding drivers collide, one car dared to take a stand. A car capable hitting 60 mph in under 5 seconds and getting almost 30 mpg on the highway. “It simply cannot be done.” A car with launch control and a trunk that can hold a stroller. “Sure, kid. We’ve all heard the stories.” A car with a torque vectoring rear differential and a sumptuous leather interior with seating for four. “You’re insane I tell ya. Insane!” A car with a dual-clutch paddle shifting transmission and a premium audio system. [Beat.] “My god! It’s been under our noses this whole time.” [Tires squeal, cut to car speeding off into the night.] The Chimera. Rated PG-13.
chimera n. 1. Something that exists only in the imagination and is not possible in reality. 2. A single car that can satisfy all of a gentleman motorist’s needs.
The Chimera is not a work of Hollywood fiction. It is the B8 Audi S4. And it is awesome.
So, Tolkein, is the B8 the one car to rule them all? Or, put another way, can a gentleman motorist’s needs be sated with one automobile? Probably not. But the B8 gets about as close as anything. Here's why.
Hello Gentleman Motorist,
Dear reader, thank you for your inquiry. As a threshold matter, gentlemen do not consort with gangs. They are members of clubs. The distinction may be one of form, but it is of the utmost importance in polite society. Now let’s explore your specific query—can a gentleman motorist associate with a car gang?
One assumes, dear readers, that the last Alfa Romeo you saw was either piloted by Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate or (if you have ever seen one on the road) a fourth generation Spider. But now, after a long hiatus, Alfa is bringing the 4C to the United States. And it promises to be the Nuprin of sports cars. Here’s why.
After an unfortunate car accident (for which he was not at fault), the Gentleman Motorist found himself bereft of his beloved ride and paired with a rental car not of his choosing. Like cohabitation with one’s freshman-year roommate, this turned out to be an unfortunate pairing. But being a good sport, the Gentleman Motorist is making the best of it and teaching you how to do the same. So without further ado, meet the Toyota Venza.
Remember Y2K, that crazy time in 1999 when Chicken Little swore that the sky was falling because computer programmers did not have the foresight to use a date format that would accommodate the new millennium? Newscasts suggested that planes could fall out of the sky and that the financial system may grind to a halt. That didn’t happen. Instead, we got the Chrysler PT Cruiser.
“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” – Oscar Wilde