As the Gentleman Motorist recently explained, Audi has not brought the RS4 Avant to the United States. And now, sadly, Mercedes-Benz is bogarting the beautiful C63 AMG Estate. Accordingly, the Gentleman Motorist has gone full Howard Beale. Honestly, Germany—puff, puff, pass! But my exhortations continue to fall on deaf ears. So read on in shared outrage as yet another motoring masterpiece fails to reach American shores.
Truth be told, the Gentleman Motorist had planned to write a post about the new Mercedes-Benz C Class. Which, in its own right, is a lovely automobile. But now…who cares! I want what I can’t have—the C63 AMG Estate[1]. This may be petulant and unbecoming of a gentleman motorist. But screw that. Look at what we’re missing out on!
First and foremost, the C63 AMG Estate is beautiful inside and out. It is so really, really, ridiculously good looking that, for the first time, the Gentleman Motorist is including a link to another website’s photo gallery so you can drool over the wonderful wagon you can’t have.[2]
Second, the C63 AMG Estate (in its most potent “S” iteration) has a 4.0-liter V-8 tuned for 503 horsepower and 516 lb-ft of torque. Apparently, that should get you from 0 to 60 in under 4 seconds. That’s enough power to make Jeremy Clarkson talk about his gentleman’s sausage. And, now that it has forsaken natural aspiration in favor of forced induction, it gets even better fuel economy than the out-going model. Twisting the knife and gilding the lily—well played Mercedes-Benz.
One could go on talking about things like exhaust notes, rear-wheel drive, seven-speed paddle gear boxes, and fat, grippy steering wheels and tires. But what’s the point? So much fun in a C63 AMG Estate. And everyone can come. Except for the United States.[3]
What did we do to deserve this, Germany? We thought you and Angela Merkel would be over Shoulder-Rub Gate by now. And we’ve already played the “Ich bin ein Wagen” card. WAIT! Wait. I know what it is. It’s this, isn’t it.
Touché, Germany. Touché.
_______________________________________________
[1] “Estate” is Euro for wagon.
[2] CAUTION: By clicking this link you agree to forfeit a significant amount of time ogling an automobile that you cannot legally acquire in the United States and hereby waive any and all claims that you now or may have, known or unknown, resulting from, arising out of, or in any way related to your viewing of the same including, but not limited to, claims for emotional distress as well as punitive and economic damages.
[3] One wonders if Mercedes-Benz (and Audi for that matter) has been taking Professor Eric Cartman’s introductory marketing class: Funland 101. Which, by the way, is open enrollment … except for you, Stan and Kyle.
Photo(s) from Car and Driver.
First and foremost, the C63 AMG Estate is beautiful inside and out. It is so really, really, ridiculously good looking that, for the first time, the Gentleman Motorist is including a link to another website’s photo gallery so you can drool over the wonderful wagon you can’t have.[2]
Second, the C63 AMG Estate (in its most potent “S” iteration) has a 4.0-liter V-8 tuned for 503 horsepower and 516 lb-ft of torque. Apparently, that should get you from 0 to 60 in under 4 seconds. That’s enough power to make Jeremy Clarkson talk about his gentleman’s sausage. And, now that it has forsaken natural aspiration in favor of forced induction, it gets even better fuel economy than the out-going model. Twisting the knife and gilding the lily—well played Mercedes-Benz.
One could go on talking about things like exhaust notes, rear-wheel drive, seven-speed paddle gear boxes, and fat, grippy steering wheels and tires. But what’s the point? So much fun in a C63 AMG Estate. And everyone can come. Except for the United States.[3]
What did we do to deserve this, Germany? We thought you and Angela Merkel would be over Shoulder-Rub Gate by now. And we’ve already played the “Ich bin ein Wagen” card. WAIT! Wait. I know what it is. It’s this, isn’t it.
Touché, Germany. Touché.
_______________________________________________
[1] “Estate” is Euro for wagon.
[2] CAUTION: By clicking this link you agree to forfeit a significant amount of time ogling an automobile that you cannot legally acquire in the United States and hereby waive any and all claims that you now or may have, known or unknown, resulting from, arising out of, or in any way related to your viewing of the same including, but not limited to, claims for emotional distress as well as punitive and economic damages.
[3] One wonders if Mercedes-Benz (and Audi for that matter) has been taking Professor Eric Cartman’s introductory marketing class: Funland 101. Which, by the way, is open enrollment … except for you, Stan and Kyle.
Photo(s) from Car and Driver.
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