Perhaps Not: The Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet

Our next nominee is the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet.  This automobile makes the Gentleman Motorist think of the song “Epic” by Faith No More.  In that song, Mike Patton asked, “What is it?”  And the response was “It’s it.”  That is exactly how the Gentleman Motorist would respond if asked the same question about the CrossCabriolet.  A topless, mutant version[1] of the Nissan Murano crossover, the CrossCabriolet is a fish out of water gasping for air.[2]  The CrossCabriolet looks equally bad whether viewed in black and white or in color.[3]  The CrossCabriolet is neither a crossover nor a cabriolet.  Talk amongst your selves.[4]  The CrossCabriolet is epically strange.  One buys a crossover because it has plenty of interior room for people or things.  One buys a convertible to have fellow motorists ogle them as the wind blows through their hair.  Nissan must have thought you wanted it all but, with the CrossCabriolet, you can’t have it.  There is no room in CrossCabriolet and no one wants to be ogled driving one.  Thanks to the bungled[5] CrossCabriolet, the Gentleman Motorist has no more faith[6] in Nissan[7].  The song “Epic” has a beautiful, melancholy outro that carries the listener far away as the song fades into nothingness.  And the Gentleman Motorist conjures up that melody whenever he encounters one of these automotive oddities.
_____________________________________________
[1] If one listens carefully, the Gentleman Motorists swears one can hear the CrossCabriolet whimpering, “Kill me.  Kill me now.”

[2] The Gentleman Motorist is deliberately invoking the imagery from the music video for “Epic.”

[3] Id.

[4] [Cue Linda Richman]

[5] Mike Patton used to front the band “Mr. Bungle.”

[6] Do you see what the Gentleman Motorist did there?  Huh, do you?

[7] That is not true.  The Gentleman Motorist actually loves the GTR and the Gentleman Motorist’s grandmother loves her Altima.

Photo(s) from Wikipedia.