“The languid strings do scarcely move!
The sound is forc'd, the notes are few!”
“To the Muses” by William Blake
Voyeurism
Automotive publications and television programs can provide a temporary salve to an otherwise chronic pain. One can even attend car shows and meet-ups to see an incredible range of vehicles in person. But you go, and you stand on your own. And you leave on your own. And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.[1] Not the best option.
Taste Testing
Like an Average Joe in Napa and Sonoma, one can go from dealership to dealership test driving any number of exciting cars but knowing that a taste, not a bottle, is all that is in store. And once the whistle is wet, the thirst is hard to quench. And one can only walk into a Porsche dealership so many times before one’s picture is posted and the staff is instructed not to acknowledge one’s presence.
Asceticism
Another option is to revel in the absence of the enthusiast car all-together—to tell oneself that life is better without the extravagance and the constant stress of the looming rock chip and the door ding. Moreover, Sting would tell you that the denial of the reward makes the ultimate payoff all the more satisfying. Ew! But as you knew in high school sex ed class, heavy petting just doesn’t cut it.
At bottom, the constraints of every day life often leave those with a passion for cars with a less than passionate vehicle. Were that not the case, everyone would drive Italian cars and say things like “Maintenance, one does not a care about such a things. Ciao.” Instead, one compromises and attempts to find enjoyment in what they have. But do not worry, dear readers, racing stripes and louder exhaust are not making their way to the Gentleman Motorist’s sedan. [2] Instead, the Gentleman Motorist has already hatched a plan for his next automobile. Did you know that Porsche has the highest rated CPO program?
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[1] One doubts Morrissey was pining for cars when the Smiths came up with “How Soon Is Now?” But one never knows.
[2] We all know that modification is not the province of a gentleman motorist.