“The languid strings do scarcely move!
The sound is forc'd, the notes are few!”
“To the Muses” by William Blake
Goodbye, old friend.
The Gentleman Motorist has been conspicuously absent of late. And, for that, he apologizes and offers the following explanation. First and most importantly, the Gentleman Motorist has been engaged in an exciting new project in a different medium. He wishes that he could “broadcast” the story, but settles for the potential of things to come and encourages his readers to “stay tuned.” Second, due to the departure of his most beloved automobile, the Gentleman Motorist is bereft of his muse. Accordingly, his keyboard keys do scarcely move and the words are forced and the posts are few. Nonetheless, here we are. So read on and explore a common point of frustration—what to do when an automotive enthusiast finds himself without an automotive enthusiast’s car.
To be clear, this is not a “poor me story.” The Gentleman Motorist is fortunate enough to have two great cars, both of which have been addressed on this site. But like The Fresh Prince’s Aunt Viv ,they are easily and unceremoniously replaced. And, like Journey without Steve Perry, soldiering on is not the same as rocking out. So what is an automotive enthusiast to do?
Voyeurism
Automotive publications and television programs can provide a temporary salve to an otherwise chronic pain. One can even attend car shows and meet-ups to see an incredible range of vehicles in person. But you go, and you stand on your own. And you leave on your own. And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.[1] Not the best option.
Taste Testing
Like an Average Joe in Napa and Sonoma, one can go from dealership to dealership test driving any number of exciting cars but knowing that a taste, not a bottle, is all that is in store. And once the whistle is wet, the thirst is hard to quench. And one can only walk into a Porsche dealership so many times before one’s picture is posted and the staff is instructed not to acknowledge one’s presence.
Asceticism
Another option is to revel in the absence of the enthusiast car all-together—to tell oneself that life is better without the extravagance and the constant stress of the looming rock chip and the door ding. Moreover, Sting would tell you that the denial of the reward makes the ultimate payoff all the more satisfying. Ew! But as you knew in high school sex ed class, heavy petting just doesn’t cut it.
At bottom, the constraints of every day life often leave those with a passion for cars with a less than passionate vehicle. Were that not the case, everyone would drive Italian cars and say things like “Maintenance, one does not a care about such a things. Ciao.” Instead, one compromises and attempts to find enjoyment in what they have. But do not worry, dear readers, racing stripes and louder exhaust are not making their way to the Gentleman Motorist’s sedan. [2] Instead, the Gentleman Motorist has already hatched a plan for his next automobile. Did you know that Porsche has the highest rated CPO program?
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[1] One doubts Morrissey was pining for cars when the Smiths came up with “How Soon Is Now?” But one never knows.
[2] We all know that modification is not the province of a gentleman motorist.
Voyeurism
Automotive publications and television programs can provide a temporary salve to an otherwise chronic pain. One can even attend car shows and meet-ups to see an incredible range of vehicles in person. But you go, and you stand on your own. And you leave on your own. And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.[1] Not the best option.
Taste Testing
Like an Average Joe in Napa and Sonoma, one can go from dealership to dealership test driving any number of exciting cars but knowing that a taste, not a bottle, is all that is in store. And once the whistle is wet, the thirst is hard to quench. And one can only walk into a Porsche dealership so many times before one’s picture is posted and the staff is instructed not to acknowledge one’s presence.
Asceticism
Another option is to revel in the absence of the enthusiast car all-together—to tell oneself that life is better without the extravagance and the constant stress of the looming rock chip and the door ding. Moreover, Sting would tell you that the denial of the reward makes the ultimate payoff all the more satisfying. Ew! But as you knew in high school sex ed class, heavy petting just doesn’t cut it.
At bottom, the constraints of every day life often leave those with a passion for cars with a less than passionate vehicle. Were that not the case, everyone would drive Italian cars and say things like “Maintenance, one does not a care about such a things. Ciao.” Instead, one compromises and attempts to find enjoyment in what they have. But do not worry, dear readers, racing stripes and louder exhaust are not making their way to the Gentleman Motorist’s sedan. [2] Instead, the Gentleman Motorist has already hatched a plan for his next automobile. Did you know that Porsche has the highest rated CPO program?
_______________________________________________
[1] One doubts Morrissey was pining for cars when the Smiths came up with “How Soon Is Now?” But one never knows.
[2] We all know that modification is not the province of a gentleman motorist.
Hello, gorgeous.
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