satisfaction n. a. The fulfillment or gratification of a need, desire or appetite. b. Pleasure derived from such fulfillment.
In a world of hyperbolic and sensational internet prose, the Gentleman Motorist is pleased to inform you that the BMW 328i (E90) satisfies. If you are looking for amazeballs, OMG, mind-blowing action, look elsewhere. But if your need for a good car has you feeling like you can’t get no satisfaction, then rejoice. Because while you can’t always get what you want, you can get what you need right now for less than $20,000. Here’s why.
Simplicity. Auto journos say it all the time, but there is just something right about 6-cylinders supplying power to the rear wheels. Like pizza, you can stuff the crust with cheese or shave truffles on top, but a gentleman knows that it just doesn’t get any better than a slice from a window counter on Mulberry Street.[1] The E90 is that slice. There is no supercharger or turbo to gild the lily. Instead, the naturally aspirated inline six delivers a smooth 228 brake horsepower along with 199 pound feet of torque to get you from zero to sixty in under six seconds. That is enough oomph to allow an E90 pilot to pass with panache and pivot with precision.
Connectivity. A recent stint behind the wheel of a Dodge Avenger and a Nissan Maxima,[2] reminded the Gentleman Motorist that feeling connected to the car is probably the single most rewarding quality for a driver. When driving the Avenger and Maxima, one is constantly aware of the fact that the vehicle is a machine that stands between the driver and the road. But that separation disappears behind the wheel of the E90. One merely thinks of turning, accelerating, or stopping and the E90 complies. The immediacy of the communication between man and machine in the E90 is most impressive. They say in comedy that timing is everything. And the E90 never misses a beat or steps on your line. It’s the Laurel to your Hardy, and you shall smile accordingly.[3]
Handling. Like your neighborhood gossip, the E90 eagerly sticks its nose into any turn. Its puppy-like playfulness in this department is simply delightful—if not occasionally alarming. Unlike an Audi with unflappable Quattro all-wheel drive, the E90 does not tell you when you are pushing the limit. You will know you’ve hit it when the rear wheels give out and you yell “POWAHR” like Jeremy Clarkson. But don’t, because you will look absurd doing so in a car whose aesthetic is more Delta Delta Delta than Delta Force. Nevertheless, the E90 will dash and dart with best, and this nimbleness will provide plenty of entertainment.
Look, even gentleman motorists need a daily driver. And at this price-point, the E90 is more than a bargain. It’s a steal. And if you pull up to a stoplight only to find Amber touching up her makeup in an identical E90, remember this – you just saved enough money to score that Porsche 911 (996) that you’ve been stalking eBay. Cheers.
_______________________________________________
[1] Sadly, Little Italy is disappearing faster than you can say gentrification.
[2] Silvercar needs to open more locations immediately.
[3] Maybe that why Jerry Seinfeld loves cars so much.
Photo(s) from Wikipedia.
Connectivity. A recent stint behind the wheel of a Dodge Avenger and a Nissan Maxima,[2] reminded the Gentleman Motorist that feeling connected to the car is probably the single most rewarding quality for a driver. When driving the Avenger and Maxima, one is constantly aware of the fact that the vehicle is a machine that stands between the driver and the road. But that separation disappears behind the wheel of the E90. One merely thinks of turning, accelerating, or stopping and the E90 complies. The immediacy of the communication between man and machine in the E90 is most impressive. They say in comedy that timing is everything. And the E90 never misses a beat or steps on your line. It’s the Laurel to your Hardy, and you shall smile accordingly.[3]
Handling. Like your neighborhood gossip, the E90 eagerly sticks its nose into any turn. Its puppy-like playfulness in this department is simply delightful—if not occasionally alarming. Unlike an Audi with unflappable Quattro all-wheel drive, the E90 does not tell you when you are pushing the limit. You will know you’ve hit it when the rear wheels give out and you yell “POWAHR” like Jeremy Clarkson. But don’t, because you will look absurd doing so in a car whose aesthetic is more Delta Delta Delta than Delta Force. Nevertheless, the E90 will dash and dart with best, and this nimbleness will provide plenty of entertainment.
Look, even gentleman motorists need a daily driver. And at this price-point, the E90 is more than a bargain. It’s a steal. And if you pull up to a stoplight only to find Amber touching up her makeup in an identical E90, remember this – you just saved enough money to score that Porsche 911 (996) that you’ve been stalking eBay. Cheers.
_______________________________________________
[1] Sadly, Little Italy is disappearing faster than you can say gentrification.
[2] Silvercar needs to open more locations immediately.
[3] Maybe that why Jerry Seinfeld loves cars so much.
Photo(s) from Wikipedia.
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