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Gentleman's Choice:  981 Porsche

5/11/2014

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Behold the Porsche 981 or, as it most commonly known, the Boxster.  Like entertainers employed by a certain type of gentleman’s lounge, it is light, agile, and topless.  And, like those entertainers, the extras cost a fortune.  The 981 has only two seats because it is not for children.  It costs a lot of money because it is not for children.  And yet, many of its owners bought it to feel like a kid again.  But no explanations are required for acquiring this German number.  Porsche’s performance pedigree is proven.  And while it is not very practical, it is perfect when paired with the 3.4 liter flat six boxer engine mated to the seven-speed Porsche Doppelkupplungsgetriebe[1] (PDK) transmission.[2]  The Gentleman Motorist also recommends springing for the Chronos and Porsche Torque Vectoring (PTV) options as well.  In mathematical terms, PDK + PTV = OMG.[3]  Some people may judge, but simply blast “Du Hast” through the Burmester and leave them behind.  In the immortal words of Dieter from Sprockets, “Would you like to touch my monkey?”  Yes, Dieter.  Yes we would.
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[1] If you can pronounce this correctly, there’s a seat with your name on it in the Bundesrat.

[2] To our Jalopnik readers, the Gentleman Motorist knows that you would have preferred the manual transmission even though it is slower.  But the Gentleman Motorist, like most enterprising capitalists, has outsourced the labor of shifting gears in exchange for better performance returns.

[3] For Porsche fanatics (Jerry Seinfeld), this is just a nicely-optioned Porsche Boxster S.  The Gentleman Motorist knows about the GTS, the Spyder, the Black Edition, and other magnificent iterations of the 981.  But for most gentleman motorists, the S is just enough mustard for pretzels and pilsners.

Photo(s) from Wikipedia.


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