Step One. Name the car. Giving your car a name, immediately makes it more lovable. Beyond the obvious play on words, the Gentleman Motorist named this car “Tony Venza” because anyone who spots you driving it will be wondering who is your boss and why they hired you. Also, telling people that “Tony and I like to hit the road” sounds way better than saying “I drive a Toyota Venza.” The little things in life really make a difference.
Step Two. Figure out what you like about the car. Tony has a great infotainment system. Seriously. It is a touch screen interface that has intuitive controls that lead you through each function. Case in point, Bluetooth pairing. Any owner of a German automobile will know the pain of pairing a Bluetooth device with only a push knob and prayer to see you through. But Tony got it done with just three taps of the screen. Tony also has power windows that that easily go all with way up or down with a solid touch of the button. It sounds like a little thing, but too many vehicles with this feature are too finicky. Too strong and the window goes all the way. Too light and you find yourself repeatedly fiddling with a button that is supposed to make your life easier. Also, well there is no also. That is all that Tony is good at.
Step Three. Make a game of it. Since the Gentleman Motorist and Tony became pals, the Gentleman Motorist has been pulling up at stoplights and looking to see if anyone notices an impeccably dressed man rocking the mommy-mobile of the century. This has yet to happen because no one notices a Venza on the road. But if it does, the Gentleman Motorist will relish the look of “what the hell” that shall be plastered all over that motorist’s face.
Time will tell, but perhaps this three-step process will bring Tony and the Gentleman Motorist closer together[2]. That said, the Gentleman Motorist is not holding his breath.
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[1] But at least accountants, unlike Tony, can do taxes. Also, the Gentleman Motorist knows several CPAs who are actually great guys. But you get the point.
[2] Cue the “Hold Me Closer Tony Danza” jokes.